Five ways to be a happy expat

The key to a happy expat life is balance. And beer.

Being an expat can be a peculiar existence. Part ambassador, part fish-out-of-water, it is a lifestyle dripping with both opportunity and sources of anxiety.

And there is no single path one can take to become a successful expat. Sure, put in more than you take out, broaden your mind, tread gently and leave people and places richer for having known you. But this is the ideal expat experience – the reality can often be very different.

So instead of aiming for expat perfection, why not focus on that – often more elusive – goal of happiness?

Here are five ways to ensure your life overseas, however fleeting, is a happy one…

1. Go easy on yourself

You’ve probably already met that person. You know the one: the expat who flits seamlessly between Spanish and English, enjoys the company of a broad group of friends from all over the world, gets involved with local community issues but still finds time to raise a beautiful family and drive an amazing car. Every expat enclave has one – the person who has not only “made it”, but done so in a seemingly effortless way.

They can be daunting to be around; off-putting even. But don’t be so hard on yourself. Life in another country tests you in ways you never could have imagined, and where some people absolutely thrive and prosper in this environment, not every one will. You’re still you: if you were an introvert back home, for example, you probably will be abroad. Remember that.

Be open minded and leave your comfort zone, but only in ways that suit you.

2. But definitely try new things

That being said, there are very few better opportunities to broaden the mind and experience new things than when moving overseas. Yeah, language, new foods and new faces are a given – you cannot escape this. But there is much more you can try, too: new surroundings bring the potential for new hobbies, learning a new skill or following a long-suppressed dream without the same old faces raising their eyebrows at this ‘new you’.

It’s liberating, and the beauty of being in a new country means that you can try so many new things while figuring out exactly how you want to live your new life.

Be magnanimous – nobody likes a pub bore.

3. Don’t take sides

Life as an expat means you have both a country of origin, and a country of residence. And the likelihood is you will begin to see the good and ill in both countries with far more clarity than ever before. So to be truly happy as an expat, don’t take sides: try to avoid complaining about every aspect of “home” because, like it or not, you will begin to miss it at some point. Equally, avoid the rose-tinted specs that sometimes make one believe life back home was better than it actually was. Remind yourself constantly: you moved for a reason.

That being said, your new adopted country will delight and frustrate in equal measure, so it is important for your own sanity – and that of your nearest and dearest – to remember that nowhere is perfect, and very few people want to hear endless boasts or complaints about your new life.

Variety is the spice of life, and expats have a unique opportunity to make this maxim true.

4. Keep things balanced

There is a temptation when moving overseas to studiously seek to avoid other expats from your home country. Sometimes this urge is understandable, other times it’s irrational. Sure, nobody wants to get cornered by the local expat bores who may latch on to your “fresh blood” status and embroil you in endless Bridge Night Tuesday invites and overtures to “go away for the weekend together”. But then again, it’s nice to spend an evening with people who share your cultural background.

Balance is key. Don’t avoid the local British Pub, but don’t spend all your time there either. Frequent tapas bars and bodegas, make friends with the locals, perhaps even visit the enclaves and establishments of other nationalities – happiness as an expat is often rooted in such diversity of influence and opinion, so embrace it.

Flights to the UK are cheap and plentiful – use them.

5. Head back home often

Brits in Spain have this one easy. Flights to various corners of the UK are plentiful and affordable from Málaga airport all year round. Use them. Maintaining a regular connection with the home country ensures you can extract near-maximum happiness out of both destinations – regularly ‘checking in’ keeps homesickness at bay, while getting away from your expat bubble once in a while can be liberating.