A winter’s tale - Spain vs the UK

There comes a time, usually after about five months, when a British expat living in Spain stops fastidiously checking the local weather report. At first, it’s ingrained in our psyche. Brits cannot help worrying about – and planning their weekend around – the weather. It’s as British as milky tea and tutting at bus queues. And it’s a hard habit to shake off.

But you soon do. After weeks of tapping ‘Marbella weather’ into Google’s search bar, you eventually realise that it’s not so much an exercise in futility, but an exercise in reassurance. ‘Yes’, you mutter with a little congratulatory fist pump, ‘it’s going to be sunny this Saturday.’ Then you remember – it was sunny last Saturday. And the one before that. And it will probably be sunny and warm next Saturday, too…

So you stop checking, and you’re very rarely left disappointed.

And soon enough, you’re following the Spanish example of behaving as though anything other than blazing sunshine and clear blue skies is an affront to your very existence. Non-sunny days in southern Spain aren’t quite treated to rolling news coverage extolling the potential havoc this terrible greyness hovering in the sky might wreak, but unusual weather patterns are a cause of curiosity in the climatically steady world of the Costa del Sol.

Not so in the UK. British weather thrives on unpredictability. The very word ‘unsettled’ is the exclusive preserve of weather presenters and mums of newborns. We have learnt to expect the four seasons in one day, any time of year. So when forecasters dispense titillating tales of warm weather or doomsday warnings of snow and ice, the nation’s newspapers go into overdrive.

Finally, they proclaim as one, we can confidently dedicate two entire pages to this phenomena. They dispatch reporters to Bournemouth beach in summer (it’s always Bournemouth) to snap bikini-clad 20-somethings frolicking in the surf, or Berghaus-sponsored reporters to stand in winter Yorkshire fields blanketed in snow to astutely observe that the county received ‘three to four inches overnight.’ And we, hot mug in hand and perched on the edge of our sofas, lap it up.

Why the interest? The UK is a northern European country. The Met Office says that, on average, December receives nine days of snow every year, January 12 days, and February 10 days. It’s not that unusual, yet it remains newsworthy precisely because it gives the country something to grumble about, bond over, chat about. Snow is, if you’ll excuse the pun, the perfect ice-breaker.

This year already we’ve seen headlines suggesting that this could be the coldest UK winter for 100 years. There’s no denying that December’s gotten off to a colder snap than a breaking icicle, but conditions are hardly apocalyptic, despite what some of the snarkier websites are saying.

The nip in the air promises, then, to become a full-blown Arctic chill over the coming weeks, with the country bracing itself for widespread snow cover, as though God has finally realised his mistake and is frantically trying to Tipp-Ex the UK from his ‘Great big sphere of people and places’. That’s the promise, anyway – no doubt the celestial airs that blow across Britain will have a change of heart shortly and instead bestow upon this Island yet more soggy weather to herald the festive season.

So how do you escape the madness?

Why not make like a bird and head south? The weather in southern Spain at this time of year is not without its own unpredictability, but it’s a far safer bet that sunny skies, pleasant temperatures and – perhaps most importantly – far more daylight will welcome your arrival, rather than the snow, ice, frost and rain that currently constitutes the traditional British ‘bienvenido’.

Winter is a time to be enjoyed, not endured. The clement climate of the Costa del Sol is the perfect place for this. And even if the weather does turn down the thermostat a little, it’s always fun for us hardy Brits to have a little snigger at native Spaniards’ attempts to shield their sensitive nether regions from the bracing attack of the chills brought on by the – wait for it – occasional eight-or-ten-degree temperatures.

In a way, it’s good to know that Brits aren’t the only nationality with a bafflingly complex relationship with the weather.