How accurate is Piers’ portrayal of Marbella?

It’s almost two years since Piers Morgan’s ‘Piers on…’ programmes. Before turning his ‘talents’ to chat shows and American ubiquity, the former editor of The Daily Mirror would jet across the globe to lend his particular take on a range of world-famous locales. He saw the glistening skyscrapers of Dubai; the loopy lives lived by Los Angelenos, and even the UK’s very own secretive Sandbanks – but it was Piers’ take on Marbella that most captured the public’s imagination.

With his editorial antenna on full twitch, Piers arrived in Marbella armed with an ostensible blank canvas upon which to form his opinion. But the truth is with Marbella that’s impossible, otherwise he wouldn’t have come. Piers already had his agenda set, his angle primed. He was happy to pour praise and platitudes on the resort, but ensured they were peppered with perfectly crafted anecdotes designed to counter the positivity.

It made for great TV. Aired in February 2010, with the recession biting almost as hard as the coldest British winter for decades, the fantastical lives of the rich and kinda famous dazzled under the Spanish summer sun. For me, suffering through that first winter since returning from the Costa del Sol, it was tortuous. There was my former home, looking more beautiful than ever, being given the once over by a TV programme searching desperately for salaciousness.

And it found it, of course it did. The wealth of Marbella means it attracts both ends of the economic spectrum. People grown rich on their talent and fame flock there. Those who made their fortune in business or investing are drawn to the region like eyes to a dancing flame. And, yes, characters who have cheated their way to wealth will find that Marbella speaks their language more than anywhere else.

Piers’ attempts to glamourise the drugs, drink and loveable rogue elements of Marbella are not wholly inaccurate. For sure, there’s a side to many of the larger resorts – particularly Puerto Banús – that revels in the role of hedonistic hermano to Marbella proper’s mature and sober visage. It’s a wild and wildly popular holiday destination for young, fun-loving Europeans who have cash to splash and flesh to flash. It’s harmless fun, and a good reason why Marbella’s name is synonymous with glamour and glitz.

How accurate is Piers Morgan's portrayal of Marbella?

The host merely hints at some of Marbella’s darker underbelly, but mishandles the reality. Sure, the Costa del Sol has worked hard to shake off its Costa del Crime moniker, but these things take time. Rich criminals on the run from the law still like the same things millions of others do – sun, sea, sand, sangria, and privacy. You can get it all in Marbella, and then some. But Marbella is no Baltimore, Brixton or the Bronx. There are no running drug battles, turf wars or indiscriminate acts of violence going on behind you while you read 50 Shades of Grey on your sunlounger. It’s hidden from view, and from you. Essentially, if you’ve no interest in organised crime and its gangs of Goodfellas, then they’ve no interest in you.

But to say as much makes for mundane TV. Piers was charged with creating a Tabloid headline of a show, and he succeeded. The truth is more nuanced, balanced and – dare we say it – bland. You won’t bump into B-list celebs every time you nip to the shops, nor will you have to pay upwards of millions of euros to secure a fantastic property. You might come across a celeb at any time, and you certainly can blow millions and millions on property, yachts and supercars – Marbella caters admirably for life’s excesses.

But what Marbella does best is provide a fantastic lifestyle for the people who live there; people who enjoy the good things in life, but also have to deal with life’s everyday chores – shopping for groceries, insuring the car, going to work. The pace of life can be as relaxed or vibrant as you want it, and if you don’t fancy getting glammed up for a night in the Port, there are plenty of other brilliant options.

The one constant, and the one thing immune to Piers’ spin or ITV’s simplified standpoint, is the wonderful climate, which certainly makes you look and feel like a million dollars each and every day.

Now how many other places on earth could say that?