How to enjoy Valentine’s Day the Spanish way

Learn to love Spain's culture and Spain will love you back

There’s a truism about life on the Costa del Sol that often gets lost amid the daily rhythm of life. For all its modernity, flash cars, stylish boutiques, high-end restaurants and glamorous beach clubs, the undercurrent of life in Southern Spain has remained largely unchanged for years.

The Costa del Sol is adept at straddling these two conflicting ideals. Residents are free to indulge in as much hedonism or materialism as they wish, or alternatively escape the clutches of commercialisation altogether…

But it is much harder to ignore the traits of traditionalism that ebb through the region’s resorts. The stubborn refusal of bodegas to change their décor or menu. The morning ritual of local old men settling down for a day in the shade feeding pigeons and playing cards. The sartorial elegance of the Costa del Sol’s womenfolk, regardless of whether they’re tottering to a high-powered business meeting or off to Supersol to pick up that morning’s fresh oranges. The delicate architecture. The quiet side streets. The bustling main streets. The noisy mopeds and the passionate discussions.

It might all appear effortless, organic, holistic. And it is. But it is also a culture hewn from centuries of people grinding together; playing out their lives under a climate that is generous and a landscape that is more forgiving than the cheated-on mistress of a multimillionaire.

Even as globalisation has made the Costa del Sol a mesh of nationalities, cultures, languages and opportunities, that very Spanish spine has remained intact. Which is why Christmas, for example – despite the prevalence of movies showing white-teethed American families living in implausibly large homes in a snow-covered town hitting cinemas like clockwork every year – is resolutely Spanish. It is laid back, spread out, stress-free and family-focused.

In truth, all holidays in Spain are like that. Some expats don’t like it. They hate the fact that everything seems to shut down, and socialising happens mostly behind closed doors: the distant echoes of happy families splashing in pools or chinking wine glasses within the comforting confines of their family garden can sometimes feel too exclusive for expats used to Spain’s otherwise welcoming embrace.

The trick here is to adopt a Spanish mindset early on. This doesn’t mean gesticulating wildly when somebody cuts you up in traffic. It means forgetting what you know about special occasions in the UK and being prepared to adopt the cultural norms of your new country. Which means Christmas, Easter, numerous ‘Bridge days’ (those magical weekends that follow a Thursday bank holiday when seemingly every Spaniard books the Friday off work and heads for the mountains, beach etc) and, of course, this week’s Valentine’s Day.

So what, exactly, should you do? The key here is to think like a Spaniard. Would a Spaniard rush in a panic to an overpriced card shop and snap up a garish card with matching ‘I heart You’ teddy bear? Probably not. Will they grab a box of Milk Tray and limp bunch of roses from the petrol station on the way home? Doubt it. Will single Spaniards loudly declare on Facebook that Valentine’s Day is “for suckers” and in order to celebrate their singledom head off to their local nightclub to down shots of green liquid for €1 a time before flirting, kebab in hand, with the taxi driver on the way home at 3am? Some might, but you need to avoid those people.

Would a Spaniard worry that because this year’s Valentine’s Day falls on a Friday that they’re going to miss their weekly girls’ or lads’ night out? Not a chance.

What they will do is either ignore the ‘holiday’ altogether or – more likely – see it as a perfect opportunity to invite friends and family around for dinner, crack open copious amounts of local wine and share the love.

Such occasions are not fraught with the same sense of social anxiety in Spain as they are in the UK. There is also a refreshing lack of pressure to be seen to ‘do something’ spectacular. Which for some people may sound incredibly dull.

But that’s just how it is. Approach this week’s Valentine’s Day with the same level of sensible, open-minded expectations, and you’re bound to love it. And you never know, you may even snaffle yourself a sensuous Spaniard in the process, too!