The three life skills every successful expat needs

Say ‘yes’ more often, challenge as much as you accept, and get a good broadband provider…

You can read all the self-help books you like. Tell yourself time and time again to be open-minded. Study Spanish. Save your cash. Buy a nice home overlooking the Med. Cut your ties with the old country and try your hardest to embrace life in the new one… and still you might fail.

Living abroad is a fantastically enriching experience, but it does not come easy to everybody. The stresses of a new culture, a new climate, a new rhythm, can prove overwhelming, as can some of the more innocuous things like supermarket opening hours, day-to-day interactions with strangers, and the lack of a good pub serving your favourite tipple.

However, none of these perceived shortcomings should be enough to deter you from making the move, nor enjoying your life abroad, so long as you learn to look at life in the same way that successful expats the world over do.

Sure, having an open mind and a grasp of the lingo will help no end, but first – master these three life skills and the rest of your time living as an expat will be a doddle…

1. Know your way around the web

From browsing affordable properties to ensuring your Skype contact list is full of friendly faces, learning to make the most of the internet is perhaps the chief life skill you will need if you are to make a success of living overseas.

The internet allows you to explore your new country and stay connected to your old one.

A smartphone equipped with free messaging services such as WhatsApp and Telegram is a good start, while Facebook is excellent at ensuring not only are you able to keep friends and family updated of how you are doing, but is also an important conduit to the life you left behind. Do not underestimate what you might miss from your old life – the mind works in mysterious ways – so having regular updates from the people back home will ensure that the flow of new and exciting information is two-way.

Next up is information and entertainment. Even if you’re already fluent in Spanish and interested in Spanish politics and light entertainment, it is very difficult to simply switch off the cultural valve to your home country. You will want to know what is happening in the UK news; you may have a favourite football or rugby team; and then there are the TV shows, the celebrity gossip and the general humour of the UK that you might find you need regular doses of, so ensure that you have a good internet provider in your new home, and a fast computer, to enable you to quickly and easily consume all of the same media content that you did back in the old country.

A good internet connection is also imperative if you want to continue watching some of your old favourite shows. Spain is now home to Netflix, which means that for a small monthly fee you can watch loads of the best British and American films and TV shows from the comfort of your new home in Spain.

2. Say ‘Yes’ to any invite

On the face of it, this is an easy one. Perhaps you’re already the type of outgoing personality who frequents all types of social situations. If so, good – it is even more important to keep it up when living overseas.

But for the more introverted types, or those who feel that they are now ‘too set in their ways’ to try something new, learning to accept invites to things is a key skill to thriving as an expat. Living overseas broadens the mind in many ways, and much of that comes from within, from challenging your old prejudices and exploring the world beyond your comfort zone.

You don’t have to turn into a social butterfly, but learn to say ‘yes’ to invites more often.

The rewards are numerous. And sure, there may be the odd dull theatre play along the way, or a couple of cringeworthy encounters with people you’re never going to get on with, but this all adds to the rich tapestry of life as an expat – trying, sampling, exploring, experiencing. And you can only do this once you learn to say ‘yes’.

3. Challenge and accept in equal measure
There is no one-size-fits-all template to describe the perfect expat, just as there is no one single location or way of life designed to make living abroad easy for all. But by and large, the areas of the world that have been both accommodating to expats while retaining their own sense of culture and routine have proven to be the most popular and enduring.

Take the Costa del Sol for example. Home to hundreds, perhaps thousands, of British-style bars, pubs, cafés and services, the region is – nevertheless – Andalusian through and through, with a few sprinklings of expat life chucked into the mix. This has only been made possible by the ability of expats, as well as Spaniards, to accept that there will be differences of opinion and approach, but also to challenge some of those said differences, thus settling on a happy medium.

Life will, at times, be markedly different to what you are used to. It’s OK to react to that.

At a personal level, this is important. Unsuccessful expats are those who challenge every difference they see; who denigrate their new host country to such an extent that it is a mystery why they moved there in the first place. But equally, expats will also be unhappy and unsuccessful if they meekly accept things the way they are. By unquestioningly adapting to a new life abroad one is ultimately setting themselves up to fail in the long run because nobody can live a life of complete compromise for too long.

Successful expats learn to mark their own groove through life – buffeted on both edges, but ultimately creating a path that is most comfortable to them, and them alone.